Call it The Great College Football Uniform Burn of 2013.
Atop the smoldering fire we’ll toss the worst of the worst: Any uniform that is, as the blog Uni-Watch.com calls it, “black for black’s sake.” It’s a long list. Kentucky. Oregon. Middle Tennessee. UCLA. Washington. Duke. North Carolina. Stanford. Texas A&M. Nebraska. Wisconsin. Brigham Young. East Carolina. Fresno State. Rutgers.
We’ll torch any uniform that’s gone gray because some nut thinks it’s trendy. That means Tennessee’s awful “Smokey” uni is toast. So, too, are the gray duds at Arkansas State, West Virginia, Oklahoma State, Kentucky, Texas Tech and South Carolina. Ohio State, UNLV, Washington State and Memphis can wear gray. Why? Because it’s one of their school colors, that’s why.
And atop our inglorious bonfire will be college football’s uni train wrecks. Virginia Tech. (Stone helmets?) Maryland. (Flag desecration.) This new helmet that Arizona State will wear Saturday. (It looks as if it’s burnt by a Sun Devil, they say.) That all-yellow getup that the Oregon Ducks wore against Tennessee. (They looked like human highlighters.) UConn’s new lid, which should have been in the XFL. By the way, chrome is for bumpers, so any helmet made out of it is a goner, too.
Stop yelling. College football’s great uniform wars is fought for one reason -- recruits; that point isn’t lost on me. 18-year-olds love this mess, and coaches love 18-year-olds with size and speed. May be the best-dressed team win on National Signing Day.
But think of it this way. What if Alabama broke tradition and wore black jerseys with crimson numbers, gray pants and a chrome helmet with an elephant logo against Georgia State?
Phillip Tutor - firstname.lastname@example.org - is the Star's commentary editor. Follow him at Twitter.com/PTutor_Star.