Home & Garden

In case you've missed it — and with the year moving by at warp speed, it's possible you did — Saturday was (drum roll) National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day.

Apparently that's the day a consumer group designated as prime time to do a pre-holiday purge and scour of the family 'fridge. Thanksgiving's several days out, but groceries are already putting items on sale in the run-up to Turkey Day. You need to be ready for a veritable liturgy of leftovers (either yours or some passed along by a well-meaning hostess who wishes she'd bought a smaller bird than a 22-pounder).

Hence, a day on which the innards of the icebox get a going-over.

In this season of thanks, the parents of young or teen-age boys are grateful they don't need such diligence in ridding the 'fridge of its surplus contents. If it's edible or passes for edible, chances are a young man will take it off your hands.

To wit, an evening's offering of leftover pork chops that one recent night were cooked with the hope that two dinners would be prepared at one time. A dozen chops were lovingly seasoned, cooked and six were rendered as the nightly fare. The other six, it was hoped, would see another day.

After some were set aside for a late-arriving dad, the remaining four were set on a plate. Sister took a pass, focusing instead on roasted pumpkin and black-eye peas. That clearly left an extra for the 9-year-old to consider, and he pounced on it like Scarlett O'Hara tore into that lone, dirt-covered turnip in Gone With the Wind.

That brought his count to three.

He eyed his father's plate — an every-night occurrence that generally ends in my chasing the boy down the hall with the admonishment that leaving some food for his daddy isn't too much to ask.

He spotted the leftovers that were just waiting to be put in the 'fridge, but made no comment.

One of the things about the refrigerator is that, once they're old enough to open it, children really find it a wonderland of goodies. This is a battle we've been fighting since he turned 3 and realized he could hoist himself to the top shelf and snag a jug of milk, a slice of cheese and a swig of tea.

Later that night, well after dad had eaten, after the dishes had been cleared away and bedtime was on the horizon, there's a rattling in the kitchen. Doors open, drawers slide shut.

The refrigerator has bestowed its evening snack: two pork chops being dipped, chip style, into a dish of pumpkin that's been stirred and mashed. His chops were already busy.

"What?" It's a muffled "what," being as there's a pork chop involved. "Is it OK if I have these?"

Considering that there's a perfect half-circle missing from each chop, there wasn't a whole lot to say.

Except: If you didn't observe National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, we should talk. He's for rent. And as God is my witness, you'll never have leftovers again.